You wouldn't believe where I am right now. Where to begin?
Firstly, dead Russian lady used her electrical manipulation powers to book me onto a 10 hour flight to Moscow. That's right, Moscow. As you can probably tell, that all happened pretty quickly because my apparent flight was at midnight and it was 9 something when she told me that she had come up with this brilliant plan. Lesson to all ye up and coming whatever-the-hell-I-am's, when a ghost asks to use your computer. SAY NO.
So my dear relatives were snoozing away, completely unaware of my leavings. I know many of you are thinking: Are you crazy? You're leaving the house because you're a slave to some figment of your imagination. That's pretty much been my conclusion to this whole situation and hopefully my family can afford a nice asylum for me to spend the rest of my days.
So moving on. The taxi drive there was me holding my switched-off phone to my ear and pretending to have a conversation with myself so I could get the details with Ghost. I learned some pretty interesting facts about the paranormal during that car ride, some which was pretty handy with what I was about to do.
Number 1. Phasing
As she is a manifestation of her 'soul' self, she doesn't have a physical body. This pretty much translates that she can walk through things, as well as levitate.
Number 2. Manipulation
She herself did not understand this completely but she has gained some understanding of this. Solid objects are apparently very difficult to move but she is able to manipulate electronics. Explains why my laptop keeps flickering.
Ghost has told me that she has not come in contact with any other supernatural entities which was a bit of a downer for both parties. For her, because she was pretty much alone in this, and for me, which shows that if she hasn't seen any others like her, the chance of me being completely off my trolley was extremely high.
Keeping the manipulation and phasing in mind, she booked my flight online using her own credit card details, mucked around with the self check-in machine at the Hong Kong International Airport so I got my boarding pass without a hassle, got through immigration even easier because I am a Hong Kong Resident with an ID and bolted like a madwoman towards my side of the terminal (which happened to be on the other side of the airport because Hong Kong likes having it's own airline as far away as possible). Once I was in the air, everything settled down. Well, besides the constant cursing of two, otherwise lovely, Ukrainian women who were trying to get the inflight entertainment up and running. Flipping through my passport was, to my surprise, a Russian tourist visa. I excused myself to the bathroom, having to step over the rather large lady without knocking orange juice all over her, and muttered for Ghost to follow me.
Natalya Smirnov was practically sitting through another living person, watching The Avengers, and was not particularly happy when I requested her presence. I pointed at the visa in my passport which she rolled her eyes.
"Once I found out who you were, I got everything arranged for you to come to Russia. It was so difficult trying to get the pen to copy a signature. Never again. Computers are so much easier. I found out where you lived, put in the visa and now you're not going to get deported," she said, or something along those lines. She did, what I assumed was the afterlife version of 'storming out' and left me with some polite knocking from a hostess, asking me if I was alright. Oh what a heart-to-heart that conversation would be if I was an honest kind of person.
10 hours later, we're in Moscow and it was a couple of degrees cooler than Hong Kong. Of course, I was prepared. Remember what I said about my honesty? It applies here as well. Thin ass coat, T-shirt and jeans. Well done Selma Gideon. You're an idiot. I mean, I love doing some background research on places I'm going to. I really do. If I had the time of course. Let's just say that ghosts can be very persuasive, especially when they threaten to haunt you for the rest of your life. My first experience with ghosts hasn't been all that super, I promise you.
So where am I now? I am on a train to Kirov, Natalya's hometown and hopefully, some clues of her apparent murder. I am planning to put her back story up on some free-ass website builder so stay tuned for that. Hopefully Natalya will give me a life story...irony at it's very best.
Selma Gideon
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